Life and the many changes

Many people will read this and wonder what is going on and how they can help. That answer is up to the person and how they feel they can help the best. Over the past few months I have been dealing with issues and looking back on the birth of the twins. I have finally realized that I never truly dealt with the birth and the tragic events that surrounded them.

The most heart wrenching part that I have not shared with many is that Gabby was just about to be coded before her heart finally started beating. She laid on the table in the OR fighting for her life for 9 minutes with no oxygen or a heartbeat. They did everything they could possibly do and it was up to her. Since then she has been a fighter in so many ways. To look at her today no one would ever know what a fight she started out in life. 

I still struggle on a daily basis wondering what "I did wrong" that caused them to be born so early. The quesitons that I go through my head all the time

 Maybe I should not have gotten up and taken that shower that morning.

Maybe I should not have gone to the grocery store the day before.
Should I have laid down all day and not sat in the recliner that day.

 

I want to be a better mother and wife to my family. There are days when I struggle the most to figure out how to do that. Sure people will tell me that I am doing awesome but unless you feel it inside there is no point in hearing it all the time.

I am cutting back on facebook and the amount of time that is spent online for may reason. Mostly so I can focus on "me" and how I can get better in life.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

This is a picture of the very last moments we were in the NICU.

Gabby had spent just over 3 months and Jerome was over 4 months. I will never forget this day as I was in shock with the thoughts of our NICU nightmare was finally over.

We finally were able to begin our family with the 4 of us in our own HOME



Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 04 - A picture of your night

This is how I spend my evening most nights after the kids are in bed.

Working on homework while Sean plays a video game.

Not every night is like but most of them are.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

My favorite show has to be Big Bang Theory

This show cracks me up every single time it is on. I can be in the worst of moods and this will often change it.



Day 02 - A Picture of You and the Person You have been Closest with the Longest.

Day 02 - A Picture of You and the Person You have been Closest with the Longest.

I do not have any of my old pictures with me on this computer so I will have to update at a later date.

There are several people that I have become closet to over the years but not necessarily the longest. As I moved from my hometown I learned very quickly who those true friends where. Just as I learned during the hardest times in life who they were as well.

One person that I know I can count on anytime to hear me vent to just to see how our days were is Kim Kilroy. She has been a major rock in my life these last few years and just gets the simple things in life. We have known each other just a few short years but it feels like a lifetime

Making Hot Pockets

These Homemade Pockets are a great “Baking Day” project. Take the time to make these on an afternoon or morning while you will be home. These take a couple of hours from start to finish to make, but they can be frozen and will a quick easy meal to have on hand

Make sure you use at least a 6qt bowl as it will make a huge batch of dough. I use my big Kitchen Aid mixer with the bowl lift. When making these I roughly get about 30-35 good size hot pockets out it.
Dough Ingredients:
9 cups flour
4 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
4 1/2 tsp. yeast
1 1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cup water
1 tsp. salt
2 sticks melted butter

Put 9 cups flour in a large bowl, make a well in the center.

In a separate bowl beat 4 eggs, than add 1/2 cup sugar and 4 1/2 tsp. yeast.

In another bowl, scald 1 1/2 cups milk in microwave for 3 minutes. Then
add 1 1/2 cups water. Add this mixture to the egg mixture. Stir in 1
tsp. salt. Mix all ingredients well

Pour this mixture into the well of flour in the large bowl. Do not stir. Put lid on and let sit for 45 minutes.

After 45 minutes, add 2 sticks of melted butter and mix well.

Cover and let sit for 1 hour. Now that your dough is made you are ready to make hot pockets.

You can fill them with anything you like. I have done the following
Breakfast(egg, sausage, peppers, onions, salsa cheese
Lunch/Dinner ones- Meat lovers, chicken alfredo, supreme

Sour Cream Pound Cake

This recipe is one of my great great grandmothers and has been passed down through the family. I wanted to share with those of you following me

1 cup butter

3 cups sugar

3 cups plain AP Flour

6 large eggs

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup sour cream

1 tsp vanilla extract

Cream butter and sugar together. Add eggs 1 at a time. Sift flour, salt, & baking soda together and slowly add to cream mixture. Add sour cream and vanilla. Mix well.

Place in a well greased bundt pan for 45-1 hr at 325

You can even use small loaf pans if you wish. 

Day 1

Day One
A Picture of Yourself with 15 facts.

1. I am currently working on my 2nd Masters Degree

2. Cooking is one of my biggest passions in life. 

3. I am on the Family Council for March for Babies in San Diego.

4. I had never been west of MS before marrying Sean and moving 3000 miles away from home

5. I have learned more about myself in the these last 2 years than I ever thought I could

6. I met Sean online while he was stationed in Okinawa. (thanks to Michelle who dared me to make an online dating profile)

7. I packed up my car and was headed to Camp LeJeune NC to meet him for the 1st time but flipped and totaled  my car on I-65 3 hrs from home. Then had to call my parents to come get me. Mind you they had no idea that I had even left town.

8. My children were born extremely premature and to this day I often wonder what I could have done differently.

9. Sean will be leaving soon for another deployemnt which makes me nervous esp since we have the kids on this one

10. I have been blessed to meet some of the greatest people in life

11. I have a slight addiction to cookbooks. I am currently close to 100 in the house

12. I miss my grandfather like crazy. 

13. Looking forward to completing many goal that I have set for myself this year

14. I never thought I would get into blogging but after several friends suggesting I would be good at it I am giving it a try

15. I have been happily married for 9 years and have 2 wonderful children and I could not ask for anything better life 

30 Day Project Day by Day

30 Day Project

Please join me as I work my way through this fun project

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with 15 facts

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Baked Buffalo Wings

Baked Buffalo Wings

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

20 chicken wings

1/2 cup melted butter

1/2 cup hot sauce

Directions

1.      Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil, and lightly grease with cooking spray. Place the flour, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, and salt into something that you can shake the wings in like a Ziploc bag or paperbag, and shake to mix. Add the chicken wings, seal, and toss until well coated with the flour mixture. Place the wings onto the prepared baking sheet, and place into the refrigerator. Refrigerate at least 1 hour.

2.      Preheat oven to 400 degrees F

3.      Whisk together the melted butter and hot sauce in a small bowl. Dip the wings into the butter mixture, and place back on the baking sheet. Bake in the preheated oven until the chicken is no longer pink in the center, and crispy on the outside, about 45 minutes. Turn the wings over halfway during cooking so they cook evenly.

Cajun Chicken Lasanga

Cajun Chicken Lasagna

1 package lasagna noodles ( or you can cheat and use the no boil noodles.

1 pound sausage, quartered lengthwise and sliced

1 pound chicken cut into chunks

2 teaspoons Cajun seasoning

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper

1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic

2 (10 ounce) containers Alfredo Sauce

1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350  degrees. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta, and cook for 8 to 10 minutes, or until al dente; drain.

2. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, combine sausage, chicken, Cajun seasoning and sage. Cook until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear, about 8 minutes. Remove meat from skillet with a slotted spoon, and set aside. Saute onion,  bell pepper and garlic until tender. Remove from heat, and stir in cooked meat and one container Alfredo sauce.

3. Lightly grease a 9x13 inch baking dish. Cover bottom with lasagna noodles. Spread with 1/2 of the meat mixture. Repeat layers, and cover with a layer of noodles. Spread remaining Alfredo sauce over top. Top with mozzarella cheese and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

4. Bake in preheated oven for 45min-1 hour. Let stand about15 minutes before serving.