HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!
Being a mother was something that I always wanted to do. Never in a million years did I think it would take so long with so many treatments to get there.
On Friday morning in late July 2008 before I was to leave to go to Florida for a bridal shower I took a test. When I got that postive pregnancy test my heart sank and I ran to Sean. I knew it was a possibility since we were in treatments but I still didn't believe it.
We had our follow up appt a few weeks later. Laying on the tabel for our ultrasound I will never forget the word from Dr W. He said are you sure you are ready... Here is baby A, here is baby B, and what to looks like Baby C(which wasn't developing)
I cried I was just hoping for one and now I was being blessed with 2. I called my mom on the way home and said mom remember how you said you buy the crib for us? She said yes. I said well now you are gonna have to buy 2.
Everything was going great in the pregnancy all appts looked great I was gaining like I should. I went in for the routine18/20 week anatomy ultrasound and found my cervix to be short. I was sent to meet my Dr in her office to discuss my options. We talked and determined that a cerclage would be needed to keep my cervix closed and I would be placed on bedrest until it was time for delivery.
I gave notice at work and proceed to lay on my back and do nothing to keep my babies the safest in the world and cause no harm.
On a Sunday afternoon at 24 weeks 6 day my water broke and I rushed to the NH here on Camp Pendleton. It was determined they could not help so they rushed me to Balboa. I spent the night in labor & delivery only to deliver my sweet babies the following morning
Gabrielle at 6 days old
Jerome 1 week old
My sweet little babies entered this world at 1104am & 1106am on Dec 22, 2008.
My world was turned upside down in both a good and bad way.
Gabby had her 9 min meeting with the angels above. (this information is something I learned quite a while after birth) I am not sure that in the beginning if it would have been something I would have been able to handle emtionally.
On Jan 13,2008 I was able to hold Gabby for the first time. My mom had been with us since they were 5 days old. I was able to hold Gabby on the day she was leaving. It was such a great feeling being able to hold my child for the very first. Something that many moms take for granted.
Jerome recived heart surgery at 6 days old inorder to save his life. He was too sick to be moved to the OR so they brough the OR to him. The NICU was cleared from all visitors and prepped for surgery. I felt so guilty that he needed such a life saving surgery(this was the first of many guilts that I have laid on myself) . he did well and was starting his journey to becoming the amazing little boy he is today.
Finally after 28 days I was able to hold Jerome for the first time. The dr's were not sure he was ready but thanks to am amazing nurse she pushed the issue and my heart filled with excitment.
I can not even begin to say all the emotions that have a child means to a mom. all I ever wanted to be was a good/successful mom. I have often blaimed myself for all the issues the kids have. I know deep down that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. It was in Gods hands and the ife he wanted us to have he has given us.
2 1/2 years later my heart is filled with more joy than I could have ever imagine. I can not picture my life without the kids. There are days when I want to be a working woman and help provide for my family but I am doing just that. I may not be paid with money but I am paid with something that money can never buy. Happiness and unconditional love.
My mom has taught me the greatest lessons in life. You are who want to be by the choices you make. If you don't like things then you are the one who has to make the sacrifices and start changing.
I love my mom with all my heart and I wish I was able to spend more time with her.
To all the moms out here. Happy Mothers Day
